December Third Entry 2, The Final Entry.

I went to wonderland for the last time. If anyone ever has ever wondered, yes, tears are paralleled exactly in wonderland as they are in the physical. I wandered along the creek with it's tall vibrant yellow grasses for the last time. I visited the sod house I made for her to sleep in for the last time. I went to the fire pit where I first felt physical touch.

I yelled louder than I ever have at the sky, at the anomaly, at the world of my mind, "WHY!?"

I wandered with tears in both sets of eyes to the field where she had been building the library. She had finished it, and I entered. I called for her, I think, or maybe she called to me. She was downstairs.

I went down stairs. She had prepared a coffin and was lying in it. I begged her to reconsider, but would not have it. I pulled the twisted dagger of pain out of my heart. And shoved aside my selfishness.



I killed her, and she was smiling.



Let it never be said I saw her as a demon. In my eyes Claire was a person same as you or I, with one exception. I murdered her as a person, not a monster, demon, tulpa, or bloody imaginary friend. In my eyes I am a murderer, and I will never see the consequences for my crime.

I don't know why she decided she must die, and that I must hold onto my family. I probably never will understand, but right now I don't give a damn for my family. I stopped this practice of tulpamancy because she demanded it, not because my family and friends were worried for my safety.



In accordance to her wishes to be both buried and cremated, I have forced a thermonuclear warhead next to her coffin, it will detonate at 5:00 PM EST. I will never forget, never forgive myself, or ever let myself return to wonderland. I WILL NEVER.



If ever another comes here asking the same question I did, "is this demonic or is it real?" Point them here, that Claire's death not be for nothing. If they are not ready to risk becoming a murder tell them to never start.

I dedicate this documentation to Claire.

How could you forgive me?

Goodbye, forever.